90% of arguments my husband I have are because he's a man and I'm a woman, and the fact that neither gender can every truly see things from the other one's perspective. Its not that either one of us is wrong, or right – and its pointless to try to convince him I am right or vice versa. Its just a gender thing. But GOD it's frustrating.
One of the things I wish my mother had told me about having daughters is that eventually that sweet baby girl would start menstruating and our cycles would coincide, and how totally completely miserable that would be for everyone around either of us.
I live in a "rough" neighborhood, but its very historic, and has great old homes that lots of good people are trying to renovate to revive the neighborhood. And I hate feeling like I have to explain that everytime someone asks where I live, and I respond "east st. paul" and see the look on their face. I always seem to dig myself in deeper by saying "Oh but its okay, cause I love our house – and we haven't had anyone try to break in a long time, not now that we have the two big dogs and the security lights…." I think I'm just going to start saying I live in Bloomington.
The "thugs" in my neighborhood infuriate me because they all seem to think that walking down the middle of the street and refusing to move out of the way for our minivan somehow proves something. What? That you are willing to get hit by a minivan to prove its not tougher than you? You definitely LOOK tougher than my minivan, but if it runs you over, you're still dead. I just want to shake them and say "WAKE UP! You have a chance of making something of yourself! Everyone does! I know you look at me and think look at the lady in the minivan, she doesn't understand what its like, blah blah blah" But I've been that stupid teenage girl trying to act tough and hang out with the thugs. And I looked and sounded as stupid as they do. I want to smack them, and then save them. And then smack them again. Its absolutely astounding how stupid people will act just cause someone else decides its cool. I've been there, and I'd rather make an ass out of myself for my own reasons, thank you very much.
I am realizing that the past 12 years of motherhood have been nothing to whats ahead – the teenage years. That was bootcamp – this is the front lines. I'm scared. But dammit, I'm gonna win this war – and hopefully my daughters will like me again when they turn 18. I miss being their hero. But to be a good mom, I can't always be a nice one.
Sometimes I worry that my almost three year old will be one of those girls I hated in high school when she grows up. Please, don't let her be a Mean Girl.
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